Axie Babies 2

Things with my axie babies are going great! They aren’t going 100% perfect but that’s ok i wasn’t expecting it too especially considering the heat wave we’ve been having in Buffalo. It’s been pretty hard keeping the water at a constant 66 degrees or lower since I’m at work for 8 plus hours. I’ve had these babies about a month now I think and I’ve had a total of 3 or 4 die on me. I have to say not bad considering it’s my first time.

Doing pretty good when it comes to the daily water changing and airation. If i’m not doing daily changes i make it at least every other day. I honestly need to look into if they have something that is like the opposite of a water heater. Lol water coolers! For now I’m putting ice packs and frozen bottles of water in the tank before i leave and when i get back home. I’ve noticed they get this moldy shell around them, little heart breaking but not ever fry survives in the wild either.

Pretty pleased with how good I’m doing with breeding the brine shrimp. Went to my favorite pet store called The Fish Place. It’s located in Tonawanda on Oliver street. I consider it to one of the best places in a 50 mile radius. Only really have 3-4 pet stores I go to. But they sell brine shrimp eggs by the tablespoon. About 2.99$ ea. At first didn’t think it’d be a lot but a little eggs go a long way. They told me a cheap way of raising and breeding without wasting my money on buying a hatchery that ranges from 18-25$. Hellllllloooooo pickle jar. Honestly best idea ever. Can easily place the lamp where you need to, ample space to add you air stone and tubing.

If you don’t know for every 1 gallon of water you need 5 teaspoons of salt non iodized. You can use aquarium salt, Kosher salt or even 100% rock salt. I chose Kosher cheapest and closest for me to get. Doesn’t hurt if you want to add extra salt. I have had to restart my brine farm a total of three times. Third times the charm though. My first 24 hours into the hatchery they were all alive and well. I rinsed them and fed them to my babies. Went to bed and got up the next morning they were pretty chill. Came back home to all of them being dead and a sour gross smell in my house as soon as I walked in the door. Second time I’m honestly not too sure what happened. But the latest jar has been with me for 4 days so I’m pretty impressed.

Excited to see what the next few weeks have in store for me. Love how fast and great my babies are growing. Now the babies that I originally got in March are doing marvoulous. Pretty sure Opal, who I thought was a girl, is a guy and Dragonite, who i thought was a boy is girl. My axolotl are so funny. they make me happy to watch for hours. Just ridig the wave from their sponge filter. They’re starting to like each other more now

Axie Babies

Soooooo I’m super excited to say that my Axolotl babies have arrived!!!!!!

So I bought 50 of them from this lady on FB, 50 axolotl eggs. This isn’t my first time ordering from her either. I bought two axies from her about 3 months ago and  have been in love ever since. It’s defiantly amazing to watch them grow. i need a  better stand for my camera. i just found my old camera so that i can start taking videos and posting them to the YouTube channel I started. Things are moving very slow though. I’m sad because if things were moving properly, meaning me not having so much on my plate, I’d have that set up by now and would have been able to see my pleco eat my 2 frogs. Its sad I cried. literally ate one 2 days ago and the other last week.

Waking up on the wrong side

What is waking up on the wrong side of the bed? Slept great a little toss and turn but nothing too bad.

The alarm goes off. My bf asks me if I wanna go for a morning toke. I let him know I don’t have enough time cuz i have 5 minutes to snooze. So he stops cuddling me and turns around…. weird

So I just get up and start getting ready. So he asks me whats my problem? Now I don’t know abouy you other ladies, but i HATE when I’m asked that question and I don’t have an issue. Lol like it honestly makes me a little upset which he knows. So I just said i was fine and kept getting ready.

He comes into the kitchen saying I’m lying. I repeat theres no problem o.k. just getting ready for work. So i ask him to check the fridge later for bad food as he’s walking out thw kitchen. He yells he cant hear me so i speak up then he comes into the kitchen asking why I’m yelling. Because you said you couldnt hear me! So he says no need to yell, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I just look flabbergasted. So I try to explain why i started speaking up which led to a disagreement and me leaving with my egg sandwich dripping hot sauce.

I just dont understand how an attitude could be put onto someone but when i get off work and go home I’ll know that our moods will be better and what i asked to be done will be done.

Changing it up

So i finally won my overnights and this is my 3rd day in a week. I’m fulltime so here in clinical thats three 12 hour overnight shifts per week. This week has been a bit different just trying to get myself balanced with sleep before and after my shifts and my daily life. Have to say I am enjoying it thus far. Due to me switching shifts i now get $1.70 raise and its more peaceful. I have a little more down time and just from this first week i feel as if I did make the correct decision for school because now i have more time during the day to get things done. I’m wondering however how this will play into my relationship. We’re a little rocky already after going the 5 years we have and we’re working on it but now thats also 3 nights out of the week that we’ll no longer sleep together. Lol my first night my patient told me good luck because overnights ruined his marriage. But we all make choices right? Aha

4am

I am beside myself

And i  guess that’s all i can ask for

Nothing more

Nothing less

These things are constantly

Tearing me apart

Showing some of my fears

Hurting myself and the ones I hold dear

I want to give up this fight

Even if it doesn’t save my life

I try to see if I can fix these things

But I try to fix and all it does is keep breaking

Breaking me

Breaking them

They turn into my enemies

These things I can’t fix

Why won’t they fit together

You know? Like a puzzle piece

I’m not a piece of meat

Something to be thrown to a pack of animals

And that’s how i feel sometimes

Like my friends throw me to the animals

But

Then sometimes I’m the animal

Something feared

As I stalk upon my prey

So what’s the difference

I have a heartbeat just like everyone else

But it beats for no one

Not even myself

What should I do?

What more can I say?

I try to help myself

And I try to be of help

But I’m just pushed away

Or can feel the wall slowly thickening

Furthering the distance.

UGH

Its frustrating to keep trying

Frustrating to keep fightinh

So why am I still trying?

Then I remember

I’m feeling something right?

Frowns

Frowns

Nobody sees as I’m spiraling down

My chest getting tight

Heart beating out of my chest

Feels like I’m suffocating

Wanting to be held close

Feeling so far from being connected

Falling apart

Limbs growing heavier as the days go by

I still have many pieces missing

From my puzzle

Trying to get together my confusion

So that I may stop

Floating around in this Illusion

Feeling

You ever get that feeling like you’re just floating through life. Sitting here when I should be watching this show with my boyfriend I realize I’ve lost control. I’m working on gaining it back. I’m so used to having some kind of meticulous plan. This is something new for me. It makes me anxious. Anything completely off course makes me nervous. Usually I write down my thoughts and plans in multiple notebooks and calendars writing the outcomes of each. But this time I have no known outcome. I’m going on wave all helter skelter. I’m hoping for the best.

Making the change

So its been a few days since my first blog and I’ve made some changes I hope are for the better. I’ve decided to stop out instead of drop out. So i withdrew from this semester but on the plus side i don’t have to pay fafsa back. Before anyone thinks I’m just a quiter I did get in contact with my advisor to schedule my next semester.

This is for the young people who have always felt accomplished until one day something changed. But also for the people who feel like they’re going no where in life. I don’t know, I feel th is may be for the better. It gives me til next semester to try and win a bid on a new position at my job going down to either part time or overnites. Which I’m leaning to the latter, more money and more time to study.

This opportunity also allows me more time to make money to buy the family house. You have to remember nothing is free. Luckily a family member is selling it to me at a lovely price. Love you! So I’m gonna buy it, fix it up and make my money back within a year and or so by renting it.

My boyfriend told me i focus too much on the negative so heres to me wishing to the positive.